The Chewer of Knees

Some keep livers, or perforate bladders...

Or collect teeth into great heaps to appease an unknown god.

Some piss on gold, or eat coals, 

Or spend their days on the wold counting ravens, and locks.

And some, of course, chew on knees.

Every demon has his contract.

The Lord of the Lichens

                                                              Deep within the mossy cold, 

                                                              In winding halls of Helmrood-Hold

                                                              Dwell silent cells and mossy hells 

                                                              in which a young man once grew old...

                                                              When fell the hall of Shiv'ring Kings

                                                              The old man flew on broken wings.

                                                              He stole a hoard, daubed himself Lord...

                                                              ...of Lichens and of Spongy Things.

This figure is almost certainly my favorite sculpt, as well as my favorite paint job so far, of all the figures I got from MegaMinis before they shut down. 

The fluff poem, incidentally, is also one of my favorites so far, as it sticks a timid toe beyond the Wyrdwold into the waiting maw of Helmrood, the Secret Fastness, the Hidden City Lost to murk.

If you have any thoughts on all this, why not clear away the moss and spongiform vegetation below. You may find a hidden city. You may find a comments box. You will definitely find one of those things.  

Squamous Filch

Touched, Tainted, Twisted, Torn;

A Claw, a Gill, a Tooth, a Horn;

Violence, Laughter, Blood, and Scorn;

Scratched, Skinned, Shredded, Shorn!

Skjorn Boarkinder

The villains, the heroes, the traitors, the bold,

The lechers, the liars, the lovers of gold,

All now are lost on the deadly Wyrdwold

The darkling, the terror, the murder, the blight,

the creatures that giggle at coming of night,

All those are come to the deadly Wyrdwold;

We are all doomed on the deadly Wyrdwold.

Laird Bilebroke

Tireless over the Wold he will trudge,

Knee-deep in fest'ring, malodorous sludge;

Outwardly issues a dirge from his head

While inward he darkly delights in his grudge.

Thence to the Wyrdwold comes Bilebroke the Dread

Lord in Exile, breaker of heads;

Leader of Hunchymen, eater of lead;
Foe of the Magnifex, fled from her wrath;

Thinks only of murder to rule in her stead.

Thence to the Wyrdwold came Bilebroke the Dread.

Aelfnir the Deranged

Few people are willing to abandon the trammels of ordinary life to risk limb and liver in feats of fantastical adventure.

And of those who are willing, only the most daring seek the Wyrdwold -- for the land is treachery, and the air is corruption.

And of the most daring who do seek the Wyrdwold, few ever come away unchanged. For to travel the wold is not simply to imperil the mind and the body: it is most often to forfeit them.

Brave men return years later, unknowing of their former lives, utterly lost to the world of reason.

An off day today. Had to work much of the weekend, with no break in sight for this week, so I present you with the character card for a figure you've already seen, here.

Hope you like it. Let me know by daringly venturing into the open comments field below. But be warned, the experience might just change you....

The Shivering King

From deep beneath

a disturbing dream awoke

the shivering king. The wise

of the land all were

at hand; can they explain

what it means?

"I wore a great gold ring.

From that ring,

golden strings

Stretch from my throne to everyone

I've ever known. A silver knife

caught the light in the hand of my queen.

I wonder will I be cut free?

I wonder is it me?"

Just wait until after the intro, around 1:03. It gets real.

Arcane and Deadly Objects

So here's a fun little thing I worked up a while ago. It's a d20 table for weird, esoteric, magical, or just downright dangerous weapons for use in Song of Blades and Heroes campaigns and scenarios. After reading the SoBH and SoGD random tables I recognized that the items, while practical and balanced, did not reflect the darkness and danger that I wanted to capture for the (then-nascent) Wyrdwold setting.

And then I came across this post on the Middenmurk blog...and I was utterly inspired (again. It is difficult to stress how much this blog has influenced me since I started reading it. If you haven't taken a look, you really should.) So without further ado, here are some of the things you might find in your huntings on the benighted fells of uttermost dithering, where the world is anything but 'practical and balanced:'



Feel free to download your own copy here. And if you want to cut straight to the rules without all of that stuffy prose complicating things (for instance, if you're actually playing a game or something) I've made a quick reference version here. Only the essential information, fits all on one side of one sheet.

Go ahead and leave a comment below for a foolish adventurer to find later...and for a prudent adventurer to ignore.

Crutchkerl the Wise

When the noble Thjornig fell

to the Hollow City below the well...

It was the wise old Crutchkerl's spell

that brought him back to light...

He cut his hand with dagger bright,

and bled the red drops in the night...

The Hollow City came to blight--

But Thjornig Thegn was well.

How to Oldhammer Challenge

Just a brief update here. I've been inspired by a challenge recently made by Whiskey Priest to the Oldhammer community. It's a cool project. The idea is to put together a warband of no more than 21 figures, using models that are either purchased super cheap, or from a current manufacturer. This in order to show that Old Hammerers are not snobs, and that their hobby is not exclusive, nor centered around the ultra rare.

Now I don't know if I count as an Old Hammerer for the simple reason that I haven't played a single old school game of warhammer, but I love old school games, and I love the spirit of the Old Hammer movement. Maybe I could be an Old Gamerer. An Olderer?

Anyway, it's a cool project. Asslessman is, of course, already in on it, and there's a whole thread you can follow on the Old Hammer forum. There's already a lot of people doing cool work, including Chris Ray-gun whose awesome blog, Lead Asbestos, I have just discovered through this challenge.

As for me? Well, my Megaminis don't qualify because they are no longer available, but I just so happen to have a large order of EM-4 figures winging their way to me from Forlorn Hope Games (who are very much still operating, and whose prices are quite reasonable). So look for that....